Divorce is very difficult, and this is even made more difficult by the fact that nobody goes into marriage with the singular aim of getting divorced. Even though marriage is supposed to last a lifetime, it is a contract between two different people, with different idiosyncrasies. Continuous and unrelenting bickering and rancor often times makes divorce seem like the best solution.
After a while, you see your ex-spouse again and you feel like you never left each other. You find that what attracted you to each other is still there and you start considering remarrying your ex-spouse. While this may sound funny and obnoxious, there are several reasons why people desire to restore their marriages after getting a divorce. Some may question why they will want to come back together when it did not work the first time. But as we will see the reasons why people divorced the first time may actually hold the key to the second marriage working. This is especially so if they are willing to make the relationships again. Here are some reasons why people want to restore marriage after a divorce.
1. Separation makes them grow fond of each other
As the saying goes, “Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder”, often times, it is not clear to couples what their place each other’s life is. They fail to realize how significant they are in the happiness and overall well-being of their spouse or how important their spouse is to their existence while they are married. Most couples only understand the importance of their better half until they have separated. It is during this period that they deeply feel the connection they shared with each other, resulting in longing for things to go back the way they were.
2. They would have had enough time to think
Divorce offers couples the chance to sit back and reflect on the incident(s) that led to their separation. When there are arguments and decisions taken at the heat of the moment, neither parties, especially the hurt partner does not take time search himself/herself for possible culpability. After the divorce, he/she can take out time to carry out some soul searching with regards to their relationship. Over time, the pain and agony will decrease and the partner will begin to realize his/her role in the separation. If they both realize their folly and acknowledge that things should have been handled differently. Then they are likely to seek reconciliation.
3. They may not have had it easy with new relationships
When couples are constantly having problems in their marriage, they feel that they would have been better off with another person. They think that by leaving their marriage for another person who understands them better. Then their problems are as good as solved. This may not always be the case in most scenarios. Leading the person to realize that his/her former spouse was better off, and that they can work things out.
4. Behavioral Changes and Rekindled Love
Individuals undergo certain vicissitudes as they mature, whether because of certain situations or with experience. A couple who always quarreled at the slightest misunderstanding or grew frustrated when things were not going their way, may have learned to control their temper and be more patient after they may have searched themselves after the divorce. This along with the other points discussed above may lead to a change of heart and a realization that they are still fond of each other
Steps to Take if You Want to Restore Marriage After a Divorce
1. Modify your expectations
One of the major reasons why marriages fail is because either or both partners harbored impractical expectations for their situations, with some of these expectations only achievable in the movies. Therefore, in order for your marriage to work again. Both couples must have a practical expectation for themselves, their partners and their marriage. In this way, couples can live according to present realities, without putting undue pressure on themselves and their spouses.
2. Accepting your mistakes and Role in the Divorce
One of the most difficult things for a human to do is accepting their mistakes. Sometimes one or both couples are doubtful about their role in the separation. And fail to realize their mistakes so as to correct them. In such cases, it is clear that the couple or partner is not open to the idea of coming back together. For a remarriage to be possible, both parties must recognize and accept the roles. They both played in their marriage’s failure and seek avenues of correcting their mistakes.
3. Changed Behavior
To achieve the restoration of marriage after a divorce. Both couples need to display a genuine change in their manners, opinions and behavior. This will help them cope better with each other, leading to tranquility in the marriage