In a relationship, trust is the most influential and reliable factor. However, it is easily broken, the good thing though is that broken-trust can be rebuilt.
What is trust? Trust is, basically the firm belief in someone’s or something’s reliability, truth, ability, or strength. Trust is also like air: only when it is polluted, then we can see it. When our partner has disappointed us (or worse) and we feel that our trust in them is no more, we need to make a decision either stay in the relationship and work it out or leave the relationship.
There are two types of trust
- Blind trust.
When you fully trust someone without assessing whether they deserve your trust.
- Mindful trust.
Seeing someone with your eyes wide open, assessing them critically and trusting them only if they deserving.
From the above-mentioned statements, it is clearly better to express mindful trust rather than a mindless one.
This is often the hardest part, and the most fragile. Rebuilding trust happens in small steps, gradually. Both of you will have to decide if you have the time and space for both and support from each other is key in the reconciliation process. There is no room for anger or resentment during this process. Remember, you chose to work it out in the first place. Also, the only option of certainty that they will never betray your trust again, is by walking away from the relationship.
The two parties involved, (victim and culprit) need to acknowledge that it is a lot of work and it is, without a doubt, a two-way street.
Ways to rebuild broken-trust
Apologize wholeheartedly, without prejudice and do not minimize the issue
Create a strong commitment to your partner and to making the changes needed to rebuild trust. This could be deciding to date once again or spend time together and do things together. The essence here is to show you are committed to the process.
Ensure there is transparency, honesty in words that are complemented by actions, openness, predictability in thoughts, and feelings.
Ensure that both of you are willing to actively communicate, both verbal and non-verbal.
Both parties need to be patient, as rebuilding trust process is a gradual process and it will take as long as it takes
Be predictable: ensure you are where you are supposed all the time, every time, to minimize the risk of slipping back into an untrustworthy case.
Remember to back your words with your actions: if you are not feeling okay, say so, your partner isn’t an angel to read your mind and know your feelings
Build intimacy with your partner, tell them your needs since intimacy builds trust
Learn to say no: speak your mind out of things concerning you and your relationship. Knowing likes and dislikes of your partner do strengthen your trust.
Learn to grow out of things: by examining our past despite the pain; we need to confess and move on.
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